Eden Sank to Grief - Cole Wixom Funeral Homily/Meditation

Robyn and Richard Wixom of Bloomingdale were part of the church that I pastored for many years. When their twenty four year old son Cole was killed in an Army training accident, they asked me to do the funeral along with Pastor Jim Robertson. I was an honored to share these words.

Many of us here are undoubtedly familiar with the words of Ecclesiastes, chapter three; and certainly everyone here knows the truth of those lines, ”For everything there is a time and a season; a time to be born and a time to die; a time to grieve ----”  Everyone knows the fact of death; we seldom argue with it until it comes close to us, but most people have a great argument with the timing of death, especially when it takes one so young as Sargent Cole Wixom. Who here has not asked, “Why did Cole have to die? The fact that you would ask such a question, says that you believe that there is more to this whole scenario than we can see. He was so young. Just getting started. He had found himself in the military. It seemed like the place for him. He had survived combat; he was  willing to give his life in defense of Liberty; why did he have to die in this accident?” 

    

Some would answer, “Well, we live in a mechanistic, impersonal world. You’re at the right place at the right time and it's all okay.” (There are variations of that idea; many people “buy into” that line of thinking.)  “You're at the wrong place at the wrong time and it's going to get you; it's fate you know.” Others would say “It's God's timing and we shouldn't question that; everything happens for a reason. It must have been God's will.”  That might sound good; certainly it is well meant and intended to be comforting. But, is it so? I submit to you, if it is, then God is not loving and just and kind. Believing that such events are God-ordained is believing that God wills evil and suffering--this is not the God of historic Judeo-Christianity--not the God who revealed himself as Written and Living Word in history and to us here today. Not the one who said who said, “I am the way, the truth, the life.”

“God is love,” said the Apostle John under the direction of the Holy Spirit. That God is loving and just and kind is revealed in the Bible and throughout history. God did not orchestrate the accident that took Cole from us. (This is not to  say that God never acts in judgment--He has; He does;He will.) Love was God’s motivation for creating--God wanted a huge family in whom He could delight--God wanted you and me as part of his family. Before time and creation God existed in triunity--Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Each member of this eternal Godhead lives in love of and for the others. The Creator wanted to share this life of love--He thus created humans in his own image and invited them/us into his likeness. Humans were given God’s capacity to love. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than the person who lays down his life for another.” Humans are volitional they can choose as did God. God wanted the first humans’ love and He gave them ability and right to choose and to love Him back. Man and woman were given dominion--we are in charge of the planet. But, God put certain dynamics in place--the laws of physics, gravity, relativity, thermodynamics and others. When these laws are violated whether intentionally, or due to the lack of knowledge of them, or accidentally, there are serious consequences--often death results. (Much more could be said about this.)

     

The first humans did love God back--they chose to. Then the chose to love themselves more than they loved God. If there had been no choice, there would have been no love; it would have been automation--just robotic beings responding as they had been programmed. John 3:16 says “God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes….” that is, whoever chooses to go with what God said/did….” Obedience is the hallmark of a child’s love for parent and acting obediently is a choice. Yes, our first ancestors obeyed their their own laws of autonomy and desire--it was a rebellion!

     

A little later in this service Robert Frost’s poem, “Nothing Gold Can stay” will be read; I took a line from that poem for the title of this meditation--”Eden sank to grief.” It was  rebellion when Adam and Eve did their own thing instead of God’s own thing, and Creation was plunged despair. Theologians and philosophers call this the Fall. Eden had every right to its grief. Disobedience has serious consequences. Jesus said words to the effect that if you love me, you will do as my words direct.

     

Cole grew up in a family that loved God; that loved him and his brothers; and that loved the critters (big smile) of God’s Creation, as well as country. Cole was encouraged to love God back by his family and church--to make Jesus his savior--his family modeled this--it was part of whom they had chosen to be.

     

Richard and Robyn wanted 1 Corinthians 13, the great love chapter in the Bible, to be used in this service; I would like to read a portion of that passage here to you and then draw out a couple of its truths from it. You will find these words in the funueral brochure.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

“ For we now know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child . When I became a man, I put  the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.” 

       

This is all about how love behaves--how a noun becomes and action verb, but two little phrases are different from the rest. Cole’s family found some comfort and peace in these. Now we see in partially; as another translation says we see through a cloudy window. “We don’t see all that’s going on here; we don’t fully understand. How do we reconcile a loving God’s sovereignty and his loving kindness with Cole’s accident?” There is no cut and dried answer here; no formula, but there is a very personal Jesus.

Eden Sank to Grief--we live in a fallen world where accidents and death seem normal, but they are not. Love continues and prevails. A great battle rages--evil vs. good; wickedness vs. righteousness; hate vs. love; freedom vs. tyranny; death vs. life.

Cole understood some of this; he knew there was something bigger than his own life at stake--a true soldier gets that. Here’s a quote from Revolutionary War patriot Thomas Paine. “These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will in this crisis shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives everything its value.”

We live in God’s created order, fallen, though it is. We must not let fallenness be our  personal defining, reference point, however, because there is new creation in Jesus Christ. Neither should we allow fallenness be the basis for our world view--the Kingdom of God prevails. Light overcomes darkness.Things go wrong--accidents occur. Death is our enemy, but Jesus Christ has overcome death. Fallenness has been dealt a deathblow. There’s a beautiful irony here--evil is receiving what it would wreak. First Corinthians 15, and I would encourage you to read this chapter as well as the 13th. Verses 54-55 and 26 say. “When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled: ‘Death has been swallowed up in Victory.’ Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O grave, is your sting?’ The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.” Friends, this is not just pie in the sky in the sweet by and by.) Yes, Eden sank to grief, but Jesus Christ conquered the grave; he rose from death and set in motion a new world order--the bigger picture. “I am the resurrection and the life, the person who in in me, though he/she dies, yet shall they live.” (John 11:25)

Yes, there is a time of birth and death and mourning--mourn your and Abby’s loss of Cole. Remember another great line of poetry, “Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.” We are diminished by Cole’s death, but we are enhanced by Christ’s resurrected life if we claim it as our own. And, we are not alone. You are only forsaken if you choose to be so. Knowing Jesus Christ means not only life beyond the grave; it means purpose and peace--you don’t have to mourn as people who have no hope.

 “Life and time, says Sister Joan Chittister, are ghosted creatures for us all. They belong to us--and are not ours at the same time. Some [like Cole Wixom] get caught in a tragic accident and leave it by surprise. Most of us, like you and me, inch our way through life, sure on the one hand that it will never end, certain on the other that it will surely be ending soon.”

I’ll end with this. In the Gospel of Mark, chapter 6, there’s the wonderful story of Jesus, having fed the five thousand and telling the disciples to row their boat to the other side of the lake, going up the mountain to pray. From his vantage point he could see twelve in their boat, but they could not see him. A bad storm came up and the disciples rowed furiously, almost to no avail--they were close to perishing. Jesus went to them, walking on the raging water, and climbed into their boat. The storm subsided in both the sky and the disciples hearts. Jesus comes especially in the storms of life and brings us peace for life and eternity. Pastor Jim and I would be love to talk to anyone who would like to further discuss inviting Jesus into your life; don’t hesitate to let us into your questions--God’s Word has answers. God’s blessing be upon this family and each one here. Amen